Wednesday, October 21, 2015

31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 14

31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 14

A Letter to My Younger Self*

Dear Younger Self,
I’m sorry you’re so frazzled! I can see you put a lot of pressure on yourself. And when you do that, you get so stressed…and I know you definitely don’t mean to do this, but that stress? It overflows onto your children and your husband too. I know you feel inadequate. I know you feel imperfect in every way. I know you feel disappointed in yourself. You had such high hopes for the picture-perfect home, kids, and marriage. You thought you were going to be able to do everything well. I guess because you had so much chaos growing up, you were determined to make your home the peaceful happy haven you had so wished you had.

Well here’s the bad news…there is no such thing as perfect.
Oh there is intentional. There is pretty darn good. There are days you will get “it” right. The kids will play beautifully, you’ll all get out to the park for some fresh air and fun, you’ll tick everything off your To Do list for the day, finish a few loads of laundry, and the kids will even help you match socks. At the perfect hour, the family will sit down to a nutritious healthy dinner that everyone loves. And you’ll even get the kids bathed, read to, and tucked in at precisely the “right” time. But this just might be the exception.

And the good news…It’s okay!
You are doing the best you can and your heart is full of love. Your house might be a little messy, but really? Who cares? Your friends just want to enjoy a little friendship amidst the rough and tumble of mothering. So swing open wide your door and say welcome, no matter the mess. Sure, keep trying. Make your lists. Plan your life. Have your goals. But when you don’t meet your own high standards, when you find yourself comparing yourself to your seemingly perfect bff, when you end your day falling asleep on your toddler’s bed before you’ve finished reading their bedtime story…take a deep breath. 

Give yourself a break. 
Smile and say a few words of encouragement to yourself. Whisper a little prayer. Think about a few things you’re grateful for. Extend grace and love to yourself. That way you’ll be able to give your kids a full measure of the one thing that covers a multitude of flaws…your beautiful messy lavish love. <--click a="" to="" tweet="">

*I am now officially an older woman. I've lived 57 years. I've been married 31 years. I have four mostly grown children, I have one son-in-love, and I'm a grandmother. I am honored and delighted to serve as a Mentor Mom at our local MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. I hope that some of what I've learned on this journey called life can ease the stress of a younger mom who is in the thick of raising kids and navigating the sometimes choppy waters of married life. MOPs is an awesome ministry that serves young moms, usually once a month with a morning out for breakfast, fellowship with other moms, a speaker, and there is even babysitting. Among the materials for equipping the MOPs Steering team is a book for Mentor Moms published by MOPs. The above letter written by me was featured in this book for the 2015-16 season. 

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