Friday, November 16, 2012

Parents Letting Go and Five Minute Friday


For the parents who have to let go…and we all have to let go.

STAY*

My first thought is definitely the song ringing in my head… "Should I stay or should I go now.”
But let’s just get that out of the way and dig in here…like I’m afraid to do, but going to do anyway.

Stay…That’s my cry to my beloved daughters. Please stay. I want you to stay. This has been so much fun. This parenting thing…this time of growing and learning and laughing and crying together. Please stay! I don’t’ know if I can go on without you. But I know I must.

And I don’t really want you to stay.

Now it’s Amelia’s turn. My last girl to go. 

Please stay. Oh I don’t really want you to. I want you to go. I know you should go. I know it’s best for you and for me. And even for dad and me. But oh how I will miss you. How I will miss your beautiful big brown eyes. Your smell like incense. Your spirit. Your fullness. I’m afraid I’ll feel so empty.

No more kids who need me. It’s hard. It’s sad. You asked me this summer. You asked Dad and me. How would we go on without you? I don’t know. I know we will but there will be an emptiness in this house, in this home, in this heart. And I can’t help feeling sad. I can’t help feeling stay. I can’t help wanting a do-over. I know we don’t get to do this over. I’ve done things wrong sometimes. I’ve tried my best.

I don’t know. What will it be like for you, for me, for us? I will miss you. 

Stay! But no, I know you must go. I know it’s better this way. I know I had you just for a time. I know you must now start to fly, really fly, without me. And me without you. 

You will go on. You’re at the beginning of so much. I am at the end of so much. It hurts. It’s hard. Somehow I will go on.

Don’t stay. It’s time to go!

9 comments:

  1. Tears flow. Chris

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  2. My heart aches for you, Elise. When does she leave? Sending hugs. ♥

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    1. Thanks, Debra...She's in the process of applying to college now. She'll leave in the fall. I don't focus on her leaving all the time, but the prompt led me to "go there." And when I do, well, the post expresses how I feel...

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  3. When two leave at once it doubles the impact. I know so well what you say here. Thanks for expressing it so well.
    Nancy

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    1. Nancy...so good to hear from you. Oh I can't even imagine. For me this has been a process that started 17 years ago with my stepdaughter. Then these past 6 years a slow letting go of the next three.
      You might want to try this Five-Minute Fridays. It's a great writing prompt. Blessings!

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  4. I just loved what you shared about, letting go. It is so hard, it is so sad and yet as you say we must let them go just like the eagle mom lets her little ones fly a bit catches them in mid air, lets them go again until they can fly on their own. This is what we have been doing for so long, now they have wings that will get stronger and stronger as they fly and navigate through life on their own two wings. But one thing is for sure, the Lord will be there for them to catch them if it gets too "windy" out there.
    How I miss my boys, I just want to hug them sometimes and they are so far away. The Lord knows our hearts, he will heal them along the way.

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  5. Oh, how I know that feeling. I had to let my baby go to this year and it is not easy! Thanks for sharing your conflicting emotions.
    Blessings
    Mia

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    1. Thanks for sharing Mia...how did you prepare yourself and how are you doing now?

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  6. This strikes a chord with me, because I know it's how my dad felt... he wanted us to stay. He's alone and by himself most of the time, and I feel guilty as a daughter that I'm not around more... and that he's alone much of the time. Maybe I'll go call him right now, and let him know that even if I haven't stayed at home, I am nearby.

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