For the parents who have to let go…and we all have to let go.STAY*
My first thought is definitely the song ringing in my head… "Should I stay or should I go now.”
But let’s just get that out of the way and dig in here…like I’m afraid to do, but going to do anyway.
Stay…That’s my cry to my beloved daughters. Please stay. I want you to stay. This has been so much fun. This parenting thing…this time of growing and learning and laughing and crying together. Please stay! I don’t’ know if I can go on without you. But I know I must.
And I don’t really want you to stay.
Now it’s Amelia’s turn. My last girl to go.
Please stay. Oh I don’t really want you to. I want you to go. I know you should go. I know it’s best for you and for me. And even for dad and me. But oh how I will miss you. How I will miss your beautiful big brown eyes. Your smell like incense. Your spirit. Your fullness. I’m afraid I’ll feel so empty.
No more kids who need me. It’s hard. It’s sad. You asked me this summer. You asked Dad and me. How would we go on without you? I don’t know. I know we will but there will be an emptiness in this house, in this home, in this heart. And I can’t help feeling sad. I can’t help feeling stay. I can’t help wanting a do-over. I know we don’t get to do this over. I’ve done things wrong sometimes. I’ve tried my best.
I don’t know. What will it be like for you, for me, for us? I will miss you.
Stay! But no, I know you must go. I know it’s better this way. I know I had you just for a time. I know you must now start to fly, really fly, without me. And me without you.
You will go on. You’re at the beginning of so much. I am at the end of so much. It hurts. It’s hard. Somehow I will go on.
Don’t stay. It’s time to go!